Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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