After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
