of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
