but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
