My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
