i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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