I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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