I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
