garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize