Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize