Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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