He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
