do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
