with your own penis?
Non-Jews are for practice
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
