Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
