So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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