We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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