If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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