Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
