lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
