She said her name was "party"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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