i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
