just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
