I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
