My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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