I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
