biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
