Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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