white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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