Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
