He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
