Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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