oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
don't judge my taste in strippers
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
