we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
