no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
