butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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