so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
operation harelip BJ is a go
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
