And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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