She said her name was "party"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
