and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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