My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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