It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
