onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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