im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
