and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
