I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize