I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
