So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize
