just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
