butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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