escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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