Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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