member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize