Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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