It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
