I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
