I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize