Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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