After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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