i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
